camping in the rain: no good

ive been in a weird mood, quite reflective like. Why? what prompted it? i dont know. friday, friday was weird for me. i had a really good time at the japeneese gardens, one of the most peaceful, and one of my favorite places. im glad that the bus never came. in the hour we sat there, that whole night actually. i learned allot about my self.i am jealous, it is only human nature. i have never had someone to be jealous about. i have never had a reason to be, and now i am. i cant help it, i dont mean to be, i dont know what to say.

religion. what is religion? because i dont believe in the same as you, does it make me wrong. because my religion has no great book, does that mean i wont go to heaven? or do i go to a different heaven, or am i doomed to hell? i am not an atheist, but if i was would this be wrong?why cant i find peace in nature, and in the sky, or the rivers, why do i have to go to church on sunday. is god only at work on sunday and inside a church? i support all religion, wether you are christian, muslum, jewish, buhdist or you have none at all. all people are equal. there is no reason for these processes of thought to come between peoples. why must we start wars, killing millions of people over time, just because they believed differently. this morning during a church service they talked of the difference in religion. but the also the understanding of nature. all i can think, is what does it mean, why? i guess you can call me what you want, and label me as you wish. i have never spoken to nor seen any greater power. but i have seen the sun set, and felt at peace. seen the sun rise, and known i was lucky. i have seen the forrests grow only to be chopped down, and felt i should do my part. i have those i love, who remind me to be grateful. and i have lost to, and given sacrafice. what is my religion......? this has nothing to do with friday, or does it. dont take this wrongly. i wish often that i had such values as so they could be placed under one catagory. i wish that i had values, that would guide my life. but i have what i was given, and that was nothing, i take only what i earn. and so maybe in a way i am the same, maybe it just has a different book.